Starter Villian Review

Starter Villain by John Scalzi

"Sounds risky."I’M A CAT, I CAN HANDLE RISK. WORST-CASE SCENARIO IS I LOSE EVERYTHING AND I STILL GET FED AND HAVE A PLACE TO NAP."That’s … a surprisingly chill way of thinking about things."SOMETIMES IT’S BETTER NOT TO BE A HUMAN, CHARLIE."

Some books entertain you. Others make you think. And then there’s Starter Villain, which does both while also making you question why more books don’t feature financially savvy, foul-mouthed cats running covert intelligence operations.

John Scalzi is no stranger to blending humor with sharp social commentary, and here he delivers a delightfully absurd take on the classic villain trope. Instead of the brooding, cape-swirling megalomaniac we’ve come to expect, our protagonist is Charlie—a middle-aged substitute teacher, broke and directionless, who suddenly finds himself inheriting a criminal empire. A criminal empire complete with secret lairs, sharks (of both the corporate and oceanic variety), unionizing dolphins, and, most importantly, a syndicate of highly intelligent spy cats.

"I expected the members of Earth’s leading society of villains to be smarter,” I said."I don’t know why.""They’re smarter in movies and books.""They would have to be, wouldn’t they?" Morrison said. "In the real world, they can be what people like them usually are: a bunch of dudes born into money who used that money to take advantage of other people to make even more money. It works great until they start believing that being rich makes them smart, and then they get in trouble."

The book is everything you’d want in a light, fast-paced read: quick-witted dialogue, absurd but somehow believable world-building, and a protagonist who stumbles through ridiculous situations with the same energy as someone who just realized their entire life is now a reality show. Scalzi’s humor is in full force with snappy banter, self-aware characters, and plots that refuse to take themselves too seriously.

And yet, beneath the surface-level humor, there’s something genuinely compelling about Starter Villain. It doesn’t just poke fun at the concept of good vs. evil; it actively dismantles it. Charlie isn’t a villain in the traditional sense—he’s just trying to survive in a world where morality is more about corporate power struggles than capes and monologues. The so-called villains are less Lex Luthor and more out-of-touch billionaires who assume that being rich automatically makes them competent. Meanwhile, the real power players? The ones actually making moves? They have fur and claws. "Hera the cat has an $11.5 million stock and real estate portfolio."

The plot, if you can even call it that, is a glorious mess of espionage, betrayal, and bizarre problem-solving. One moment, Charlie is dodging assassination attempts; the next, he’s negotiating labor disputes between dolphins and militant whales. And somehow, Scalzi makes it all work.

If you’re looking for deep existential drama, look elsewhere. But if you want a book that fully commits to its own ridiculousness while still having something clever to say about power, corruption, and the fact that cats probably already run the world, Starter Villain is a must-read. It’s fast, funny, and endlessly entertaining—a perfect book for anyone who’s ever thought, you know, being the villain might not be so bad.